Written by: Tatiane Kozijn | Instagram: @tatianekozijn
Before I get to the point of writing this article, I first have to tell you this. When he broke up with me, I cried like a baby. I begged him to change his mind, I send him a thousand desperate texts and I literally thought my life had come to an end. But hey, haven’t we all been there…
Surprisingly, in between the tears I somehow felt a sense of relief. I hear you thinking, that doesn’t quite fit in to the scenario of the woman has just been abandoned by a man. Finished. The End. While I packed up my stuff, I cried dramatically though. How could this happen to me? Didn’t he feel anything for me? You probably know the feeling if you’ve been there before. I still remember him sitting on the sofa watching me pack up my stuff while he looked at me with a sense of satisfaction on his face.
We had lived together for two years in a town…or maybe more appropriately: A small, boring town where you don’t want to be caught dead, but where I moved anyway to live with him. Oh well, don’t we just want to do it all for love? To the outside world, we seemed to have been made for each other. What a beautiful couple you are! You two are such a good fit! I’ve heard it all. But in reality, there wasn’t much of that “being happy together” feeling to be found. It was mostly just a lot of football, hanging on the sofa and very little excitement. Okay, enough about the relationship and its struggles. Let’s continue. The house was his, the furniture in it was mine, so I took all of my stuff and he stayed in an empty house. How ironic.
It’s easy to put the blame at someone else or badmouth someone after things have finished between you two but of course that’s not entirely fair. There’s always two people responsible for a failing relationship. But really? In the heat of the moment when everything is falling apart, you can’t think clear. Now when I look back, I realized that I was living a life that everyone wants and society dictates: the suburban bliss. But was this something I really, sincerely wanted from the bottom of my heart? Perhaps not.
I used to think that not having a boyfriend and being settled down by the time you’re 25 is weird. Now I realize that there’s so many couples together just “for the sake”, but actually feel jealous when I talk about my “free” life and adventures. I wouldn’t be my honest self if I wouldn’t admit that I sometimes feel jealous of friends who have the settled down life too. But hey, I’ve been able to taste from that life and I know that I’m only ready for it with the right person. Someone who motivates me to chase my dreams and doesn’t give me the feeling that there’s suddenly a long list of things that I’m no longer allowed to be doing. Someone who feels happy every day that he chose me. Do I get nervous about being 27 and single? No!
Of course there will be times when you’re feeling the pain or you’ll feel alone, but what’s even worse is spending your life in a way, with someone that you don’t sincerely, from the bottom of your heart want to be with. After I got through the worst heart ace, I started creating a life that makes ME happy and it changes everything. I worked my ass off and promised myself to do everything I ever wanted to do. I moved to Amsterdam, I’m living the single life with no responsibility, I travelled around the world. In 6 months time I saw Madrid, Lisbon, Rio De Janeiro, Rome, Budapest and the US. Malena and I bundled our forces with FashionContainer and seeing our business grow and get bigger and better every day. Now that I talk about it…I’m the happiest girl in the world, all because I didn’t choose “Just for the sake of it”.
Now it’s your turn! Tell me your most dramatic break up stories…
